He gets furious when you try to talk about it. You long for any sign of affection; a hug, a smile, even a kind word. You pray that it will be once again what it once was. You ache in a way you cannot explain, a pain that never subsides during the day and that wakes you at night. If you can fall asleep at all.
You want to know how to save your marriage. Can I say the right thing or find some miracle that will save my marriage?
It usually does. If she wants out of the marriage, she will get more aggravated with you, become meaner in what she says, and find a faster way out if you keep trying. Does that mean there is no hope? You can give up. Though I spend my life helping people salvage what others consider hopeless marriages, even I agree that there is a time to accept the inevitable and start moving on with your life. If your spouse leaves you and moves on, there can definitely come a time to accept that your marriage is over and find the path to a different life and a new relationship.
However, in my experience working with couples, giving up usually occurs far too early. You can push harder, demand, cling, beg, and do all sorts of things to pressure your spouse to stay. Most people tend to do that because they love so deeply and desperately want to save their marriages.
In actuality, it drives the other person from you even faster. Think of it this way, attraction draws people together, repulsion drives them apart. No one is attractive when he or she falls apart emotionally, cries, whines, or begs. While human compassion generally drives us toward helping a person in pain, it also drives us away from a person whose pain is caused by us when we have no intention of stopping the action causing the pain.
Though the emotions you feel that lead you to these actions are powerful, they are ineffective in helping you save your marriage. I see it regularly with spouses who refuse to seek help or who yields to every demand because the departing spouse becomes angrier or threatens to take the children or bring about financial penalties. Somehow the mate longing to save the marriage buys into the idea that if they just go along with everything, the departing spouse will come to his or her senses and renew the marriage.
The manipulation through anger or threats serves the purpose of freezing you into inaction so that the departing spouse can get do things to leave with the least amount of difficulty. My experience over twenty years with thousands of couples tells me that most people who give up do it too soon. It is your responsibility for standing for your marriage alone and giving it your best shot to salvage it. So, listed below are ways to save a marriage when only one is trying.
Before you think of walking out a relationship, ask yourself the reason you were in a relationship. This way, you surely will get an answer as to how there is still love between you despite the clash or misunderstanding. Every human has a few flaws.
These flaws only make us human. Instead of expecting perfection from your partner, start acknowledging the flaws. Every marriage goes through a problem. Try to find out the problem. There is definitely a solution to all the problems. You must give up on these at once and should take things in your control. Seek advice from experts , if needed. Talk to your partner about your failing marriage and steps you can take to control it.
If you really want to save your marriage then you must act right now and take all the necessary measures to do so. Things that will doubt yourself and you may find yourself asking how am I going to save my marriage myself or why am I doing it?
You have to be strong and fight this all alone. Who knows, looking at your passion and enthusiasm, your partner will join hands in saving the marriage. So, you need to re-evaluate your actions and do something different if you want a different result. She's not saying stay together for the kids, but she is suggesting you think twice before you file the divorce papers, breaking up the family.
Spencer says ask yourself the following questions: Do you still enjoy doing things together as a family? Do you find that doing things with the kids but without your husband makes you sad? Yes, life is hectic. Between work, home-life and keeping track of your child's social calendar, sometimes it's so much easier to crash on the couch and watch TV while your husband drinks beers out back. But don't do this, advises Leah Klungness , Ph.
Falling into a dateless marriage can put a damper on the roles you play to each other — husband and wife. This is great. Regardless of what's going on in your marriage, you still know in your heart that you can talk to your husband about how you truly feel.
If both people continue to offer the other safety to be transparent without judgment or rejection, their relationship is highly susceptible to being saved," says Beam. When things are rocky, having sex or performing acts that pleasure your partner are not always in the cards. But even if you're not in the mood at the moment, there's hope if you actually still want to connect intimately, according to Rachel Russo.
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